Breastfeeding Is Not Free. Here's How Much It Cost Me, And How It Saved Me

Smart Parenting's PerSPective is our editorial team's take on the parenting and family issues today's Filipino families are facing. Through these opinion pieces, we as the country's leading parenting media brand hope to spark conversations and help fellow parents achieve our shared goal: to raise happy, healthy families.

The year was 2020, just about a month before the outbreak of the COVID-19 pandemic, which led to widespread lockdowns and prompted remote work.

My maternity leave—105 days in total—had come to an end. I had even requested an extension from my employer, because as a new mother, I felt the need to breastfeed my daughter as long as I can. 

And so, there I was—a 6-month-old mom who had given birth via Caesarean section in July. I carried a large black bag containing the electric breast pump my husband had purchased at a mommy fair for P15,000, along with bottles I had washed earlier that morning. Of course, my laptop bag accompanied me, and not to forget my water tumbler. Unfortunately, my "I'm pregnant" card had expired, leaving me with no special treatment. The options were simple: endure the commute or opt for the costly cab ride.

How heartbreaking it is for other moms to wean their child from breastfeeding, only because they need to get back to work?

With breasts engorged, I would arrive at the office, hopefully, earlier than others, so that I could pump after that arduous 2-hour travel. I would assemble my breast pump, think of happy thoughts, and pump. Once my colleagues arrived, I'd disassemble the pump, store my expressed milk in the freezer, and head to our meeting. My day had just started.

In an ideal world, I could bring home my frozen breastmilk bags, freshen up, and finally be reunited with my daughter.

But because we live in Metro Manila, with its notorious traffic, it's a struggle. After work, I'd hurry home to my daughter, carrying the weight of guilt for summoning my mother or sister as babysitters, coupled with the anxiety that my milk stash at home might run dry. I cannot afford for my child to go hungry. Occasionally, I'd opt for the more expensive choice—book a ride. Take my money.

The plight of breastfeeding mothers

During these cab rides, my thoughts would drift to other mothers who couldn't afford breast pumps or whose employers lacked supportive breastfeeding policies. How heartbreaking it was for them to wean their child from breastfeeding, only because they need to get back to work. Must all women who wish to breastfeed their children endure these challenges? I have two younger sisters. Do they have to go through the same sacrifices, if they choose to be a breastfeeding mom like me? Is resignation the only option for women once when they become mothers?

I chose to be a full-time mother, and gave up my six-year-old job for my six-month-old baby. I vividly recall drafting my resignation, all the while my baby was latched on my breast. "No choice tayo, anak," I told her.

Today, on Breastfeeding Week, I learned that while it's comforting to know I was not alone, it's saddening to realize that it's the status quo. The 2019 study by the National Economic and Development Authority (NEDA) revealed that marriage and childbearing significant reduced female labor force participation in the Philippines. Not to mention that the COVID-19 pandemic, added housework and family care to the already burdened mothers. The result: over 2 million mothers worldwide left their jobs in 2020.

I mean, my husband has been very supportive in my breastfeeding journey, but the toll to care and nurture a newborn baby has traditionally been placed upon mothers by society. So, I resigned.

After enduring the same routine for three weeks, I decided to resign from my job. I chose to be a full-time mother, and gave up my six-year-old job for my six-month-old baby. I vividly recall drafting my resignation, all the while my baby was latched on my breast. "No choice tayo, anak," I told her. 

With a heavy heart, I clicked the "Send" button, and I cried. No one told me that being a mother is going to be this hard. No one told me that being a mother would mean choosing one over the other. No one told me that being a mother would mean giving up everything you've always had for a person you just met.

Maybe someone told me, but unless you've become a mom, all those stories were just stories. All those warnings were just warnings.

The price of breastfeeding

When I was pregnant, I was convinced that breastfeeding is free, and it's the best way to feed my child. What could go wrong, right? Commercials, seminars, doctors, and friends told me that breastfeeding is best for babies up to two years. I believed them, so I persevered. However, I delivered my child via C-section, so my milk came a few days late. But no one told me that breastfeeding is work—it's going to be so hard, and it's so expensive that it would cost me my job.

Today, as I write this piece, I realized how much breastfeeding, though a lot of people say it's free, cost me. 

Aside from the lactation aids, breastfeeding cost me a stable position in my dream company. It cost me hours of sleep. It cost me opportunities to hang out with my friends or to make time for self-care. It cost me my freedom to even go to the toilet or to enjoy a hot meal in peace. It cost me blood, sweat, and tears. On bad days, it cost me my sanity.

I couldn't compute, however, how breastfeeding saved me. It saved us from hospital trips because thankfully, my child rarely got sick. It saved me from feeling that my child doesn't know me, what with all the hours and days and weeks she's stuck with me and I'm stuck with her—literally and figuratively. It saved me from feeling inadequate, because when you're a new mom, you equate your value with what you can give. It saved me from giving up on motherhood, because breastfeeding made me realize I am enough.

Breastfeeding is not free; it's priceless. And if you know a mom who is breastfeeding, give them what you can give. 

READ ALSO: 7 Reasons Why Breastfeeding Is Important For You And Your Baby

If I would be given the chance to bear a child again, would I still breastfeed, knowing how much it would cost me once more? In a heartbeat, yes.

Breastfeeding is not free; it's priceless. And if you know a mom who is breastfeeding, give them what you can give. Cook a pot of tinolang manok with lots of malunggay. Order some lactation treats and drinks online and have it delivered to their doorstep. Gift them a nursing cover or a breastfeeding shirt. Tell them that you think about them. Ask them how are they doing, and if they need help. Reply to their Instagram story. Do something.

Understand that when these mothers chose to breastfeed, they've yet to know what they would go through. It's not as easy as we see on TV, and it's not free as we thought it would be. Breastfeeding is not scrimping on formula milk. It's a choice a mother has to make, and a cross they have to bear, regardless how long or short. The best thing we could do is to be part of their support system, so that their journey would be less tasking and more fulfilling for them.

Breastfeeding is already hard, let's not make it even harder for mothers. We can all do something, especially workplaces, which we consider our second home.

READ ALSO: Nursing Moms Going Back to Work Can Demand for Lactation Breaks

How can workplaces support breastfeeding mothers

If we demand workplaces to become more supportive and compliant with the law, then no mother would ever feel torn between caring for their baby and pursuing their career.

For breastfeeding to succeed in the workplace, UNICEF and the International Labour Organization encourage employers to uphold the workplace provisions of the Expanded Breastfeeding Promotion Act of 2009 (RA 10028). These provisions include:

• A workplace lactation policy with relevant provisions that is part of the general policy/manual of operations and widely disseminated among employees.
• A dedicated lactation/breastfeeding station in the workplace not located within a toilet, where breastfeeding mothers can wash up, breastfeed or express their milk in comfort and store their breastmilk afterwards.
• Lactation periods that are in addition to the regular time-off for meals. These periods should be counted as compensable hours worked and not less than a total of 40 minutes for every 8-hour working period, with 2-3 breastmilk expressions lasting 15-30 minutes each within a workday. 
• Breastfeeding information that is easily accessible (posters, pamphlets, videos and other resources) or through counselling by trained individuals, or peer educators within the workplace or community. Activities must also follow the Milk Code and prohibit persons or companies from promoting, displaying or giving away infant formula and related products.

A fellow mom once said, breastfeeding success is 10% supply, 30% dedication, and 60% support system. By all means, let's hand them that 60%. They deserve nothing less.

Judy Santiago Aladin is the section editor of Smart Parenting. She is a mom to a four-year-old girl who came to the world a month earlier than expected because she couldn't wait to have a taste of that liquid gold.

Sources: UNICEF and ILO