'To Unfollow People On Social Media Is Not Immaturity,' Says Rica Peralejo. And These Parents Agree

We've all been there—after a long day at home or at work, sometimes the only break we can take is by aimlessly scrolling the newsfeeds in our social media accounts. Then, while sipping our cold cup of coffee, we see this post from  a certain person, and instead of relieving our stress, we roll our eyes. Day's ruined, thank you very much.

That's why we agree when Rica Peralejo Bonifacio said this about unfollowing people on social media: "To unfollow people on socmed is not immaturity. It is an issue of control. It is an act of agency. Especially when we unfollow abusers, gaslighters, or people we associate with the root of our oppression, it is then an empowering practice to say, even in a small way, that "You cannot do this to me anymore."

If you've been mulling over clicking that 'Unfollow' button for your peace of mind the next time you check your socials, then the Smart Parenting Mom and Dad Squad and contributing writers are here to convince you to do it. It's going to help you lessen that heavy mental load, really.

7 kinds of people you need to unfollow right now

1. Your exes

Especially if you've no longer any business with them, it's best to let them be. For Mommy Genina Domingo, she has unfollowed her ex on social media for good. "Since the biological father and I are not in good terms, I unfollowed him and everyone related to him. I was put in so much trauma by him and everyone close to him so I think this move is best for my healing and mental health," she shared.

She also believes in the saying that "what you don't know can't hurt you," so unfollowing is the best move. Ignorance, after all, is bliss.

2. Your toxic family members.

If you are like me who has family members on Facebook that you just can't unfriend (because you are blood-related) but who have posts that you just couldn't stand, unfollowing is key.

For Mommy Thara Advincula, she revealed to Smart Parenting that she unfollowed all of her family members, and it's totally fine. "Because I choose my peace and I deserve my peace. Whenever I see their names, it triggers anxiety and traumas. So instead of suffering, like, why should I prolong it? If it's good for you, do it. Its not immaturity. It's just choosing yourself, to be happy," she explained.

Meanwhile, a member of the Smart Parenting team who doesn't want to named shared, "Me naman there was a time I had to block my mom from everywhere because toxic siya, boomer mentality, and just saw me as an ATM for my bros na fave niya."

"I have unfollowed anyone that does not add value or encourage family life." —Joma Vicencio

3. Artists and influencers who do not encourage family life

For Daddy Joma Vicencio, also known online as Papa Jomsi, he believes that as a parent, he is responsible for setting the standards for what kind of people his kids will follow on social media. 

"I have unfollowed anyone that does not add value or encourage family life. I am very open with my social media account—so my kids and wife can see it. I don't wan't them to see anything or anyone that will cause unwanted questions or stress."

"There's power behind who we follow kasi. And my belief is it can influence us in a great way." -Edroy Lim

4. People who make it easy for you to sin

It doesn't have to be just women, but people who frequently share photos that you don't feel comfortable to look at on your tiny screen should be unfollowed, said Daddy Edroy Lim. "Nung naging kami ng wife ko, I unfollowed female celebrities and female friends who post sexy/ bikini pics. For the sake of our relationship and being practical ito. Iwas temptation and misunderstanding with my wife." He added, "There's power behind who we follow kasi. And my belief is it can influence us in a great way."

 "[Unfollowing] is really setting healthy boundaries—not so much about them—but about how you see things and your life is now." —Love Cosio

5. Influencers or people who have opposing parenting beliefs 

While there is no single way to parent, there are just some people who are so staunch in their beliefs in parenting that sometimes, it's just too much for us to handle. Mommy Joselle Ona confessed about unfollowing a fellow parent influencer, "Don’t get me wrong, I do respect other people’s choices and parenting styles. But this particular person already influenced or rather actively urge others to follow their ways of disciplining kids and even got to the point of turning it into a profitable business. Kaya sabi ko di ko kaya ‘to. Pang unfollow levels!"

Meanwhile, Smart Parenting editor-in-chief Ronna Capili Bonifacio said that as a homeschooler herself, she deliberately chooses not to follow some homeschool moms whose financial capacity surpasses hers. "I didn't want to put myself in a place where I was prone to comparison. It's great there are families who can travel constantly and homeschool. But especially when I started out, I didn't want to make it easy to compare our family, especially on bad days."

6. People whom you have 'fake connections' with

We love how Mommy Love Cosio framed unfollowing as something that could be done both online and offline, "It's really setting healthy boundaries—not so much about them—but about how you see things and your life is now."

For her, she unfollowed social media accounts of people who no longer serve the kind of life she wants to lead as a woman, wife, and mom.

"At the end of the day, it's your prerogative. Social media accounts are not just there for the "reels" but "real connection," she added. Quoting the author Paulo Coelho, Mommy Love said, "If it costs you your peace, it's too expensive."

7. People whose opinions you feel are toxic to you

For Smart Parenting contributors Riyalyn Pasimio and Don Gaoiran, people who are toxic do not deserve to take up space in their feeds. For Mommy Riya, the only time she unfollowed people on social media was during the elections. She had to take a break from people who have been posting "toxic" content, "Feeling ko kasi nakakasira ng araw 'pag nababasa ko 'yung posts nila." Nevertheless, she followed them back after the elections. All good.

Daddy Don meanwhile said he also unfollowed his male friends and acquaintances who have sexual or offensive comments in their posts. Good riddance.

"If a person causes my eyes to roll consistently, I protect my peace." —Joselle Ona

Tips on decluttering your social media

1. Start a clean slate.

For Daddy Ivan Jose who lost his old Facebook account in 2021, it was like a mandatory decluttering of who he's following. "When I created a new account, I only added/approved requests from people whom I really know or those who have similar values as me. Medyo choosy na din with people, especially yung mga kakilala ko na mahilig lang mag-rant or sobrang reklamador, hindi ko inaapprove or inaadd, haha!"

2. Mute or snooze, if you can't unfollow

For Mommy Joselle who's usually on Instagram, she uses the "mute" option instead of the unfollow. She has set some criteria for accounts that she would unfollow. "If I STRONGLY disagree with a person’s ideas, ideals, and practices, I choose to cut ties with the person. If a person causes my eyes to roll consistently, I protect my peace. Also, I realized that through the years as I drown in adult responsibilities, I tend to filter the people in my network and check who truly matters and who enriches my life."

The mom of two stressed, "While I am grateful for past relationships, if I haven’t heard from them for the past decade, goodbye na agad. The tita in me just don’t have the time and energy for that anymore. So mute din."

There's also a "Snooze for 30 days" option on Facebook, too! So if they get better after that timeframe, then hello again, friend.

3. Weigh it out: is it toxic or just differences?

Ronna Capili Bonifacio reminds, "To unfollow online is easy, especially when we are uncomfortable or when we dislike what we read. However, unfollowing anyone we disagree with can also deprive us of personal growth."

She adds, "Personally I don't mind following people whose views or opinions differ from mine, as long as they can communicate it with logic and respect. And it's the same behavior I try to exhibit online too. As parents, it's also important for us to model to our children how to be tolerant and respectful of others who may not share the same views we have. Because that's a realistic picture of society, we will not agree with everyone. We must learn it so we can teach it to our children as well."

4. Again, unfollowing is not immature

In a previous Smart Parenting article, we asked Dr. Gail Galang, a registered psychologist with a PhD in Child and Family Studies and a member of the Smart Parenting Board of Experts about unfriending or blocking your spouse on social media after an argument. Yes, your very own spouse. She explained, it is a way of coping and may be an expression of moving away or stepping back. "More than just a knee-jerk reaction to feeling hurt and taking flight, mature couples may step back from a disagreement to create emotional distance, de-escalate the situation, or gain perspective. Ideally the intention is to step back from the conflict, not from the person. It can also be a safeguarding tendency to protect themselves from further harm or to avoid saying something they may regret," Dr. Galang said.

Her advice for couples is this: "On calmer days, it's best to decide together whether couples should follow each other on social media. There's nothing wrong if they choose not to do so." Read the full article here.

Happy unfollowing!