Luis Manzano with Rosie for Smart Parenting | June 2024
“That’s what fathers do, we find a way to make things work,” Luis Manzano said with a laugh at the beginning of his interview.
Smart Parenting brought together two girl dads to talk about what makes millennial dads tick and their fatherhood experiences for Father's Day. Luis and his wife, actress Jessy Mendiola, have shared their family life their daughter, Rosie, or more affectionately known as Peanut, on their vlogs and social media. And while Luis has always said that Rosie is a mama’s girl, one can still see how much he adores and dotes upon his daughter. During the cover shoot, Luis alternated between his outgoing and professional celebrity persona to a dad who readily makes faces to entertain Rosie. He was mindful of her needs, often ensuring that the one-year-old was comfortable throughout the shoot.
Below, Luis and Smart Parenting contributor Migs Bustos, also a girl dad himself, talk about their journey into fatherhood, their realizations and fears, and advice for other dads who are also finding their way in parenthood.
Migs Bustos (MB): Luis, welcome and happy Father's Day in advance. So this is your second Father's Day, right?
Luis Manzano (LM): Yes, yes. I would like to assume, I would like to wake up and believe that every day is Father’s day but reality is, every day is Mother’s Day. I kid about it sa mga videos ko pero masakit. I post about it na tinatawag ko nga 'yung dakila na ako yung kapitbahay ni Peanut. Pero recently I’ve been promoted, this time hardinero na ako. Nakakapasok na ako ng lote pero hindi pa yung bahay.
MB: How did you prepare for fatherhood when you first found out Jessy was pregnant?
LM: You want to believe you're prepared. Siguro the most prepared you can be is to have a go or emergency bag. You have your nursery bag. That’s pretty much it. 'Pag nanganak yan, good luck.
And I guess, it’s part of the journey. It’s a discovery of yourself. It’s a discovery that I never knew I could be like this. I never knew I could feel like this. I never knew I could treat and love someone like this. It’s overwhelming. It’s a blur. Parang 'yung oxymoron na it’s so blurry but all the feelings and emotions are crystal clear.
MB: Absolutely, you can't really be ready until you're there. What was it like when Peanut was born?
LM: I remember 'nung bagong panganak, cesarean kasi si Jessy. Pinapasok nila ako eksakto daw sa time na they brought Peanut out. It was my first time to see a newborn. Parang nangangamatis, especially yung mata. Parang napalaban sila kay Pacquiao. So I thought something was different, kinukulit ko yung pedia the whole time, ‘So Doc, okay lang ba?’
Siguro naisip ko rin as a father, when our significant other gives birth, is super biyak ang attention natin. Siguro it’s a safe assumption for a mom giving birth, of course, she’s considering how she’s feeling literally. Pero ang priority niya is how’s the baby doing, narinig ba 'yung iyak? I guess it’s normal for a mom. But for us, divided 'yung attention natin. Never pa ako nakaranas ng ganon. Siyempre, I want to make sure that Jessy was okay going through the C-section, stitching her up. At the same time, sa corner ng room, si Peanut, they have to check her ganiyan.
So you discover things about yourself. You’d be put in a situation na hindi mo ma-imagine.
'One thing my dad will always say and one thing we always hear when it comes to time, it’s always quality over quantity. But my dad said, truth be told, it’s also quantity.' —Luis Manzano
MB: How about the bills—especially sa hospital, and the responsibilities? The logistics of everything?
LM: Sabi ko nga, before Peanut came, I was an idealist. And this is not just in the financials or anything as a provider. I was one of those people na forever optimistic. I always believe in the goodness of people. Everyone has that innate goodness and is bound to go to heaven. Then when you have a child, you become a realist in so many ways.
There are certain responsibilities that you suddenly have to consider even more. At the same time, consider what the world really is. It’s not just, ‘Ay, bigla na lang dadagdag ang gastos ko.’ But you realize na 'Okay, baka these people don’t have the best intention sa anak ko, sa family ko.' So that was a game changer para sa akin.
MB: Peanut, or Rosie, is turning two this year. Ano 'yung mga nadidiscover mo sa personality niya, mga likes and her interests?
LM: Pilya. She loves reading, that’s one. Mama’s girl talaga siya, but our quality time is always reading before bed as much as possible. What we do ni HowHow (Jessy), is after Peanut’s shower, she gets 20 to 30 minutes for us to go through whatever books. Tapos kapag inaantok na siya, I pass her on to Jessy na para patulugin. I step out na.
MB: Anong favorite niyo na story book? Kasi si Margaux [Migs' daughter], meron din siyang mga hilig na on rotation talaga, and she’ll say, ‘Read me this.’
LM: There’s Papa Get the Moon For Me. I would replace the name of the kid with Peanut. To make the long story short, the baby girl wants the moon so the papa gets a very long ladder, climbs to the moon, and talks to the moon na 'my daughter would like to be able to play with you.' So he brings down the moon for his daughter.
MB: You mentioned earlier she’s pilya, how pilya?
LM: Pilya siya, personality wise. Definitely a Manzano. For example, lalambingin mo, kiss kiss, she’s gonna run to you. 'Pag palambing ka na, biglang she runs away laughing.
MB: Is that a Manzano trait?
LM: It’s a Manzano trait. Yung pagiging sobrang nang-aasar. And I wouldn’t be surprised na when she starts talking na, mapang-asar na tao ito.
MB: You also mentioned about becoming a realist, how has fatherhood changed you?
LM: Paano daw ako bilang father? (asks Jessy)... I don’t want to toot my own horn… I matured a lot now. But still a long way to go. Siguro one thing na nagbago talaga sa akin is time management. It’s a very big thing na ginawa ko ngayon. My priorities… Siguro before it was always about work. These days, I slowed down a bit. Sabi nga, you have to find the perfect balance. Kasi dati ratrat. O Luis, may bago kang show, tanggap! O Luis, may ganito ka, go!
Even if I was already married. But you realize na you really have to slow down to appreciate every day with your family. I’m still working a lot pero you still have to put in the effort. One thing my dad will always say and one thing we always hear when it comes to time, it’s always quality over quantity. But my dad said, truth be told, it’s also quantity.
You can easily say kasi na quality over quantity, I’ll spend two days with you na we do anything and everything tapos hindi mo na ako mararamdaman or very minimal na. But then, I would rather have two special days with you and a lot of days with you na even if you don’t see me that much but at least you know I’m there. Tumatatak pa rin yun.
'Hindi man ako yung unang tinatakbuhan mo pag-uwi mo o hindi ako yung hinahanap mo. Basta alam ko, inspirado ako because I want to make sure na masarap yung kakainin mo.' —Luis Manzano, on dads coming in second to moms during a child's early years
MB: How do you find the balance now that you're learning to slow down, how do you manage the demands of your career and family life?
LM: Kung ano 'yung mas malaking bayad [laughs]. For example, I think it was last month, I was working the whole week tapos may tinahi ako na two hostings in a day. Magkasunod, one in the morning, one in the evening. So okay naman sa akin. It was good pay. So it gives you a bit of leeway to be able to say, okay medyo may pumasok naman so I can spend a day with my family or I’ll take them out or we can go somewhere.
And it doesn’t matter if you’re a boy or a girl. It falls under whether you’re a provider or not. You would find a way talaga.
One aspect na napag-isipan ko the other day, si Peanut ngayon is puro mama, puro mama. I guess any kid is always attached sa mom muna. So okay lang 'yun sa akin, kasi sinasabi din naman it’s the familiarity. Let’s say if I always work, yung konswelo ko naman is masarap ang tulog niya because of the work we, kami ni HowHow, are putting in.
Hindi man ako yung unang tinatakbuhan mo pag-uwi mo o hindi ako yung hinahanap mo. Basta alam ko, inspirado ako because I want to make sure na masarap yung kakainin mo. Or hindi kaya may lamig yung kwarto na tutulugan mo.
MB: Pero hindi ba mas extra special kapag ikaw naman ang nilalambing niya?
LM: Nag-Japan kami recently and magkatabi si HowHow, Peanut, and her midwife, because you never know, Peanut can get fussy. Halfway through the flight, Peanut would just go up the chair, look back at titingin sa akin, ‘Papa, papa.’ So it’s those very small moments. It doesn’t even need to be a hug sometimes. The fact lang na hinahanap ka.
MB: You had a health scare that you shared in your latest vlog, thank God, it’s benign. Can you talk about that experience? What was the first thing that came to your mind?
LM: Sinabi ko din sa vlog ko na yung first four doctors who took a look, sinabi naman nila that chances are, it’s clear. However, you always want to be safe. You don’t want to find out when it’s the latter part and when it’s much worse. Sabi ko din sa vlog, we all, it’s unfortunate that we all know someone who has passed away from cancer. And we see the blow it deals to individuals and to families. It’s such a long, painful, paralyzing journey.
So yung waiting time, okay pa eh. Kasi I’m confident based from what the four doctors said. Then I got the results and it said further tests are needed. So sabi ko, ‘S***.’ 'Yan ang nagpa-rattle sa akin. Kasi diba you have four doctors who were quite definitive. Tapos paglabas ng result, further tests are needed. So there’s a chance na.
I sent the sample somewhere else and sinabi naman nila na wala talaga. You know, you want to be strong. Hindi ko pa sinabi sa family ko, sinabi ko na lang when I got the first batch of results. Na-rattle sila and they consulted all their doctors din naman.
One thing—when I posted the vlog, everyone was saying 'buti nalang, kasi bata pa si Peanut'. Of course, thank you sa lahat ng nag-message na they were praying for me, pero napakaraming comments na sinasabi na buti nalang wala because bata pa nga si Peanut. Then you realize na, ‘Oo nga no,’ na I’m really part of a child’s life. Even other people are saying na there’s still a long story to tell pagdating sa pamilya mo.
MB: Do you think it’s a game changer now that it’s all said and done? How did it impact your perspective on life and fatherhood?
LM: I was having a conversation with my family din, it sounds morbid, we were talking about death. Sabi ko nga, hindi mo talaga alam kung oras mo na. You realize na it’s very cliche, we always hear it, but tomorrow’s never guaranteed naman talaga. So wala, you just got to maximize it talaga.
The best way to put it is after an experience like that, and to think, my experience hindi pa ganun katindi. We know so many people na mas matindi ang kanilang near-death experience or their actual recovery from whatever condition—mine is minute compared sa pinagdaanan nila. Pero when you go through something like that, you have to make sure that right after, hugs will be tighter.
MB: Pag dating sa millennial fathers, do you believe, at least from your experience, na mas hands-on daw mga millennial fathers?
LM: It’s different sa kinalakihan ko. Because one, my parents were separated. So ang dynamics namin noon, Monday to Friday with my mom, Saturday to Sunday with my dad (Edu Manzano). But every time I would be with my dad, he would always be hands-on. My mom (Gov. Vilma Santos-Recto) was also very busy.
In one interview I mentioned that one thing that God gave me is the gift of understanding at a very young age. In fact, I never rebelled because naghiwalay sila. I never took it against them that they remarried. In fact, sabi nga nila when I was four years old, they simply spoke to me and told me that they couldn’t be together again. They had to separate. So doon ako tumira kay mom.
My mom was very busy, my dad was busy too. So 'yung pagiging hands-on nila, I fully understood na hindi ko man sila nakikita, it’s because they’re working for me. So each household is different. There are some children that it becomes part of their, maybe, trauma, maybe conflict; that is properly acknowledged din naman. Hindi sila hands-on na hands-on because they had to do what they had to do. But never sila nawala when there was something special sa school—sa intramurals, graduation. They were always there.
I guess I’m very fortunate din na 'yung story nila is they remained friends for me. I think that’s key, that’s crucial. Siguro sa akin, if they tried to be together pero there was so much conflict in the house, so much negativity, para sa akin it might have a negative imprint sa akin growing up. Naghiwalay sila and they remained friends, and they’re actually friends even if you take me out of the equation. Nag-uusap-usap pa rin sila. So we have that kind of house of positivity. Tito Ralph (Sec. Ralph Recto) was always there din. Si Tito Ralph, although he is my stepdad, never niya pinanghimasukan ang kay daddy naman. May respeto sila sa isa’t isa.
So ang sa akin, I can’t say they were hands-on. Na every day they were there but I fully understood that they were doing things that needed to be done.
Even if they’re surrounded by a thousand devils, you raise them with that angel inside them, na they fall back on that. —Luis Manzano on parenting
For my peers naman, nakikita ko din, kapag nag-family gathering or tumatambay 'yung barkada, hindi lahat may child aid, that’s one. And when the kid is running, chances are, the father is running too.
I also love what Steve Martin said in the movie Father of the Bride. In the end he said something and this is what I got from it: As a father of the bride, and I’m pretty sure that’s going to apply to me and maybe to you, is at one point for us fathers, we will have to let our children go. Boy or girl. We have to let them go and experience the world. It’s inevitable. The good and the bad. But regardless of what they experience in the world and all the temptations the world has, you always hope and pray that they fall back on the way you raised them.
And they will make mistakes. I have a s***load of mistakes. I still continue to make mistakes as a person, as a father, maybe not as a husband, as an individual. But I would like to say na I’m okay with the way I was raised.
And you hope that it’s the same with your children. Even if they’re surrounded by a thousand devils, you raise them with that angel inside them, na they fall back on that.
You want to keep them away from this, keep them away from that. We always have that one or two bad influence friends, or you never know, maybe we were that bad influence friend. So whether it be social media, barkada, you just hope and pray that you raised your child well enough that they will fall back on that seed of goodness.
MB: On married life naman—I’m also just learning it now. When we become parents, we become the best versions of being a dad to our kids. But pre-requisite pala of being a better parent is we have to be the best husband first. So what are your thoughts on maintaining our relationships with our spouses?
LM: I think, one is like you said, you never forget your spouse. Also, each of us has our own paths. I have a path of my own, Jessy has a path of her own, we have a path as a married couple, and we have a path as parents kay Peanut. As much as possible, we try to still have the romance. Yes, the dynamics will change, it’s a given. Time and focus pa lang eh. So it’ll need a bit of elbow grease talaga for you to keep things going. Para sa akin, if you strive to retain the lambing, the sweetness, napaka-gandang effect nun sa mga kids.
I think there’s a carryover, if they see that sa parents nila, even when they’re older, they won’t be like, ‘Eew, Mom! Dad!’ But you create a culture of love sa bahay. Mamaya mas malambing sila, mas showy. Our family, we’re very showy. We’re very affectionate, words, lambing. So I think besides taking care of the romantic angle, the spark, it carries over into your home being full of love.
MB: For you, what is the best thing about being a dad?
LB: Their smiles. I can go through so much. I can have the world on my shoulders, but if I see HowHow and Peanut smiling at me, that’s all I need. It’s so simple, yet so fulfilling, that’s the best part. You see genuine happiness when they call you, when you make a joke and then they laugh.
There’s this movie on Netflix, where the character was talking to the mom, sabi niya, mother’s love is the closest to God’s love. I think a father’s love is a very close second.
MB: Lastly, do you have any advice for other dads reading this?
LM: I mean this with positivity, no sarcasm at all: Good luck. Because my journey is different from yours. Yours will be different from one of our readers. There’s so much to learn. There’s so much to enjoy. It’s going to be full of smiles, full of tears. But everyday is gonna be worth it. Just take care of your family. Take care of your wife. Take care of your child. Don’t create a house, it’s a happy wife, happy life, happy home.
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Photographs by Jayson Isaac
Styling by Rex Atienza of styleList, inc.
Grooming by Joan Garcia
Shot on location at Somerset Central Salcedo Makati
Editor in Chief: Ronna Capili Bonifacio
Interview by Migs Bustos
Shoot assisted by Em Cruz, Justine Renee Cruz, and Tricia Borromeo
Video producer: Cherrie Julian
Videographers: Micah Moleno, Jez Villapando, Rolando Pingco Jr.
Assisted by Jay Nuñez
Editor: Rolando Pingco Jr.
Art Director: Stephanie Ocampo
Socials by Zen Arganda
Marketing Specialist: Marie Bilgera
Associate Publisher: Bettina Santos
Publisher: Iza Santos-Cuyos
