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  • Dads, Moms Are Still Exhausted Taking Care Of The Kids, Quarantine Or Not

    Don't let her bear the burden alone.
    by Kitty Elicay .
Dads, Moms Are Still Exhausted Taking Care Of The Kids, Quarantine Or Not
PHOTO BY iStock
  • The enhanced community quarantine really took a toll on Pinoys, especially moms who suddenly found themselves overwhelmed with caring for the kids, running the household, working from home, and becoming their child’s teacher. But on our Facebook community, Smart Parenting Village, a majority of moms shared that they were grateful for the unexpected quality time — with dads around, they finally had extra help.

    Others weren’t as lucky. A few, exhausted and frustrated moms wished that their husbands would stop playing mobile games and do chores or look after the kids, too. Sure, everybody needs to de-stress (since the pandemic is affecting our mental health), but dads need to remember that childcare isn’t just mom’s responsibility — during this crisis, mothers need their partner’s help, more than ever.

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    Moms are more tired than dads

    Moms have always taken charge of childcare and housework — according to a recent study, working moms take on more responsibilities outside of work compared to their husbands.

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     “These working mothers are organizing, reminding, and planning everything else,” said a Modern Family Index 2017 report commissioned by Bright Horizons.

    Of those surveyed, 86% of moms said that they handle the majority of family and household responsibilities, while 72% feel it’s their job to stay on top of kids’ schedules. Even if they’re working, they’re also doing emotional labor: worrying about the family, taking note of essentials that need to be bought, preparing family meals, giving children a bath and putting them to bed, accomplishing chores, and planning the family’s schedule.

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    All of these are small things, but they add up. So, yes, moms have been exhausted even before the quarantine.

    Now with face-to-face classes on hold, moms even have an additional role: their child’s teacher. But they shouldn’t have to bear this burden alone.

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    How dads can be better partners during quarantine

    Dads, it’s time for you to step up. We know you can — a 2019 survey found that a quarter of Filipino men say their partners don’t have time to relax and unwind, and they worry about getting the right childcare support for their kids, too.

    “Gone are the days when the pressure of childcare used to fall on mothers alone — men are now beginning to step up and take equal ownership of family needs, which is a necessary step towards building an equality-based workforce,” said Abhijeet Mukherjee, CEO of Monster.com, the company who conducted the survey.

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    Where can you start? By being in tune to your children's needs. During this crisis, childcare is not just about watching and playing with your kids. It’s planning a daily routine for them and making sure they’re balancing learning, play, and screen time. If you have younger kids, it’s about scheduling their check-ups and vaccinations, and making sure they can get in and out of the hospital safely. It’s a mental burden of plotting and planning, which moms bear with, but one that you can help them with.

    Instead of asking, “What can I do,” try just doing something — anything. Wash the dishes before they pile up, take care of the groceries if you notice the supplies running out, and feed the children instead of wondering what’s for dinner.

    Finally, be attentive and appreciative. And don’t forget to thank your wife for all that she does. Sometimes, it’s all a mom needs to keep her going.

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    Dads, you're just as important as moms in your child's life! Click here for all the reasons why.

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