Parents Talk Screens: On Rules, Major No-Nos, Social Media and Gadget Use

Let’s face it—screen time is one of the biggest parenting debates of our time.

One study says, “Not All Screen Time Is Bad,” while other studies have shown that tablet use increases child anger. Smart Parenting has covered both sides. But one question remains: “If screen time is so harmful, why can’t parents stop?” The article tackles early screen time exposure for kids ages 0 to 2.

These days, with kids surrounded by multiple screens at home—even ones that aren’t theirs—parents constantly wrestle with one question: How do we manage their screen time?

Smart Parenting brings this discussion to Filipino families with different working setups and children in various age brackets to know their honest and unfiltered screen time rules. Some have toddlers and preschoolers. Some have tweens and teenagers with their own gadgets and social media accounts. We asked about their basic screen time rules such as duration, content kids can watch and play, major no-nos and restrictions, and how they manage to keep these rules running. 

Through their stories, we aim to paint a picture of what screen time looks like in different families and spark an inspiration to assess our own screen time rules.  

Filipino Families’ Screen Time Rules

Ash De Los Reyes

Cavite-based
One child: 5 years old (Kindergarten); homeschooling

I’m a single mom who works from home. I  look after our son and have a Yaya. 

I'm grateful that I don't have any problems with screen time. I communicate with my son and he follows. What I like about him is he asks for permission to watch TV or borrow the phone. Suppose I say no, no fuss. He understands and patiently waits. He knows that having a phone is a reward for a job well done at school. 

We have a strict no mobile phone rule during class days. It is only allowed on Friday nights and Saturdays. He can use the phone for 1 and 2-3 hours throughout the day. He looks forward to Fridays and Saturdays because that is his reward after “class week.” ????

He can watch his favorites on YouTube, such as Legos, Cars (Lightning McQueen), building Legos, and videos about drawing. He also plays Lego and racing games on the phone. 

He can’t have his cell phone yet; he’s still young. Like social media, he may have his own when he’s ready. I will know when he’s ready. ????

Janine Berber

Singapore-based
Two children: 6 years old (Kindergarten 2) and 2 years old (not yet in school); traditional school

My husband and I work full-time with flexible work-from-home arrangements. We go to the office at least two times a week. We ensure that one of us is always available for the kids, even on weekdays. We have a helper, but her primary responsibility is household chores. 

My kids are allowed screen time every day - in the morning and before bedtime. They started having screen time at around 1 year old. 

As my kids get older, screen time has become something they need to earn. My older son needs to earn screen time by completing chores like cleaning toys, making the bed, and finishing his assessment books. His screen time is usually 20 minutes for educational apps and 30 minutes before bedtime. On weekends, it’s around 4 to 5 hours per day, spread throughout the day. 

My younger son can watch for around 1 hour daily (spread throughout the day). However, he sometimes gets more screen time on busy days or during meetings. Sometimes, he sits on my lap while I work, so when I have urgent tasks. I occasionally use screen time to help distract him. 

We aim for no screen time on weekends except during our special family bonding time: our movie night/day. We don’t allow YouTube Shorts, violent videos, and content involving guns, killing, or similar themes. They will lose their privileges if they cry over not having screen time. Throwing tantrums over screen time is not acceptable.

When our son was 5, we gave him a Nintendo Switch and applied our screen time rules to it. My sons will most probably have their phones when they are in secondary school.

I want to delay social media use as long as possible. Once I’m confident we've had open discussions about privacy, safety, and responsible online behavior, and they demonstrate how to navigate these platforms safely, I'll feel more comfortable allowing them social media accounts.

In summary, our screen time rules focus on balance, earning privileges through responsibility, and ensuring the content they engage with is educational, safe, and age-appropriate.

While certain disadvantages are associated with screen time for children, including studies highlighting the risks of early exposure, I must acknowledge that, for our family, screen time has proven beneficial. It has helped my children develop early reading and counting skills, deepen their music appreciation, and expand their vocabulary. With appropriate guidance and supervision, screen time can serve as a valuable educational tool, helping parents teach their children about a wide range of subjects in a controlled and purposeful manner.

Ruffa Vallada Paglalunan

Batangas-based
Four children: 13 years old (Grade 8), 8 years old (Grade 2), 6 years old (Grade 1), 2 years old (not yet in school); traditional school

My husband has a corporate night shift job, while I’m a homemaker handling our small business (Art Love Life Creative Space, a photography studio). We have a stay-out ‘taga-plantsa,’ and we also get by with the help of my Mom.

Sadly, it’s a roller coaster, it’s not consistent (screen time). Mahirap kasi nakikita nila ako sa screentime eh. Kahit na for work ang screen time ko, same lang pag nakikita nila. 

Syempre kapag may gustong tapusin, screen time ang pinakamadaling solution to distract the kids. I’ll always say na siguro, kapag may kasambahay ako, ang goal is to play lang with my kids, possible ang no screentime. Kaso wala. So take advantage ko na din ang screens. But everyday, I do my best to manage our screen time. I do my best to have one on one time with them para puno ang love tank nila.

At I’ll make sure na may gagawin sila kapalit ng screen time. I will offer them painting, biking, outdoor plays. And since madami sila, advantage na may kalaro sila. Yun lang may iiyak at iiyak talaga minsan.

For the youngest (2 years old), no screen time sana, but when I’m busy, 1-2 hours monitored screen time. For 6 and 8 years old, 2 hours a day. For the eldest, the limit is until 8 pm. Kuya (eldest) is allowed screen time every day. It started when he got his cell phone at age 12. 

For everyone, we try our best not to have screen time on Saturdays, our family movie night.

It's okay as long as we can watch the videos they watch. That’s why we have Disney+ and Netflix. Kuya plays Minecraft, Roblox, and Fortnite.

Kuya got his cell phone when he was 12 and his iPad when he was 6. This iPad has been the cause of a lot of fights between me and my son. It’s a gift from Lola kasi, so bigla na lang dumating! I also wanted to set time limits with Kuya’s screens, but his Daddy disagreed, especially sa timers ng screens. His work is in IT-industry and said na dapat disiplina ang nature ng screen time. Na baka pag nagset kami ng timer, or too much restriction, mapigilan ko pa yung pag-explore niya. Now, his favorite subject is Computer, and he likes coding and composing music on a PC.

They can have cellphone when they are 12 for communication purposes kasi mas malayo na ang high school. For Kuya, alam niya ang limitations like no giving of personal information. No calls in the bathroom and bedroom. Calls with friends during game is okay pero nasa sala ang PC namin kasi. He also has Facebook and Instagram but rarely uses them. He is more on TikTok and Spotify. Again, sa younger kids, when I see they are responsible enough para magkaron ng sariling account, papayagan ko naman. 

Major no-no sa amin, fighting at nag-aagawan sa remote. Automatic, papatayin ang TV pag ganyan sila. 

Reg Pasimio

Metro Manila-based
Three children: 16 years old (Grade 11), 15 years old (Grade 10), 11 years old (Grade 6); traditional school

When the kids were younger, I was a stay-at-home Mom while their Dad worked full-time. I recently returned to work with a flexible work arrangement.We haven’t had a yaya or helper since.

All my kids are in traditional school, but when they were younger, we did homeschooling. 

Surprisingly, we don’t have screen time rules. I think it’s because they’re old enough to understand their limits. They know phones aren’t allowed at the dining table or during family meals and conversations.

I do not regulate or monitor their screen time, either. I also let them decide when they can have screen time and what they watch. 

We didn’t give our kids their cell phones until they turned 13. Before that, they shared an iPad between the ages of 5 and 10. We only have one TV at home and no cable, so we watch shows together as a family. Because of this, they didn’t grow up surrounded by mobile devices or gadgets.

When it comes to movies, since I was a stay-at-home mom, I watched cartoons, anime, and other shows with them. I tried to be interested in what they were watching so that if something seemed off, I could easily talk to them about it.

I don’t track what they’re playing for mobile games, but we have shared games like Sim City, Chess, and Dope Wars. I sometimes play Minecraft with them to see what it’s like.

I didn’t have many issues with this because gadgets weren’t their primary source of entertainment. Instead, we encouraged board games, card games, physical activities, and family conversations. We weren’t overly strict about what they could or couldn’t play, but I ensured we always did things together as a family. I wanted them to get used to having fun with us, not just alone.

Once they got their phones and laptops, I encouraged them to create their accounts (social media). I don’t have strict rules, but I occasionally remind them about the dangers of online predators. We also share reels and memes and have group chats.

I believe I'm lenient with screen time rules because I trust my kids’ judgment and know them well. For me, building a strong relationship with my children from a young age is crucial. If you establish a connection early on, parenting through their teenage years will be much easier. I think enforcing too many rules without a relationship can lead to rebellion.

I always advise parents of young children not to let them eat with their iPads or use gadgets to calm them down when they’re upset. As a parent, you should be the first person your child turns to for comfort, not a device. Also, if you're not involved in their lives when they’re young, don’t expect to influence them when they’re older. Take the time to enjoy their cartoons, learn about their favorite characters, and show genuine interest in them. Lastly, don’t be a lazy parent. You can do plenty of fun activities with your child without spending much money. Simple games like tag, Marco Polo, or hide and seek can entertain them and help strengthen your bond.

Ruby Bardelosa-Musngi

Metro Manila-based
Two children: 14 years old (Grade 9) and 9 years old (Grade 3); traditional Catholic school

My husband works full-time, and I am an entrepreneur. We live with my husband’s Mom and a helper. The helper's primary responsibilities are household chores since the kids are old enough to do things independently. 

We allow screen time for both of our children. Basta after school, and when they've accomplished their homework, generally around 5 pm, they can use their gadgets. Pag weekdays until 9 pm lang. On weekends, we allow til 11 pm. 

Since birth, may screen time. ???? The kids both have their phones & iPads. As far as I can remember, they both got their own when they were 7. I just make sure that they watch content that is appropriate for their age.  We allow our daughter to play Genshin and Honkai but not Mobile Legends. Our son plays Roblox.

My daughter has FB, IG, Tiktok, Discord. She is free to post, reply, and watch whatever she likes, but we always remind her to be responsible when posting and responding to content. I talk to her about all these like an adult—no sugar-coating of words. I tell the truth and the possible consequences of actions.  

I believe having screen time is a MUST now. But we, parents have to protect their mental and emotional health, their whole being. 

That’s why my husband and I agreed to guide them using these gadgets. My husband said, “Screen time rules are fundamental but also difficult to implement. They require discipline from the parents whenever kids request more. For me, allot only a certain amount of time for social media and games. Without a limit, it is very easy to lose track of time, and one gets disconnected from the reality of things, including duties and responsibilities.”

We implemented a no-gadget rule for our 14-year-old for almost three months recently. She had an incident with a specific person who tricked her. The night we took her gadgets, we had a serious talk and explained that it was not a punishment but a protection for her: “We are not punishing you; we are only protecting you. Let us equip you first before we return your gadgets.”

We noticed a significant improvement in her. She became sociable, smiled a lot, and is becoming more confident and responsible.

Paola Adelle Enriquez Liquete

Metro Manila-based
Three children: 12 years old (Grade 7), 7 years old (Grade 2 ), and 4 years old (Nursery); traditional Chinese school

My husband works full-time as a businessman—he runs a grocery store, department store, money changer, and distribution company. I share the workload by running our hotel business in Vigan City. I had to sell our Agricultural Poultry Farm Business because we wanted at least one parent focused on our three boys' education, health, and overall welfare, which had to be my job. I have a Yaya to do housework like cleaning, laundry, and cooking.

My basic screen time rules always include no gadgets early in the morning and no Roblox or games on weekdays.

We have set up a Family link where the parents control all gadgets via the app. There is a maximum time limit for their gadget use per day. I am a busy mom, and yes, we allow them to use their gadgets on a daily basis, but it is controlled via the Family Link app.

Yes, screen time rules have changed as my 12-year-old got older. His school mostly requires him to check his emails daily for updates. We started controlling screen time at the age of 6. 

For videos, we always try to communicate with our kids about what shows they watch, and from time to time, we check the history of their videos to see what they have been watching. 

For my boys, who like to play games online, our number 1 rule is no playing games that involve gambling.

My 12-year-old recently had his mobile phone at the age of 11y/o. My 7-year-old has an iPad for videos and school emails. 

All three of my kids do not have social media accounts. My 12-year-old only uses Discord for chatting and gaming with friends. We, as a family, enjoy Netflix. My 4-year-old only watches Netflix. He is not allowed on YouTube.

In summary, as parents, yes, we get tired and need gadgets for distraction when things get chaotic. But at the end of the day, we focus on what truly matters, which is what we feed into the minds and hearts of our children. 

Still confused about screen time? Here’s Smart Parenting’s guide to Digital Parenting.